I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
