weddingsv make me drug and hornr
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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