You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
