I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
