Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
