Your mouth is God's brothel.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
