I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize