I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
