I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize