i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
