They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
There's even glitter on my cock...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
