wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
