What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize