im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
