This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
