My first STD was from a foam party
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
