I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You are a genius and a whore.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
