What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
