You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
