remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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