so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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