porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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