I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
