Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You pole danced in your parka.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
