People in love make me want to vomit
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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