HIV tests are more positive than that guy
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
