Duck Duck Cougar?
Come see our sink grown plant.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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