I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
