Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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