you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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