I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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