Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Floor bacon is actually really good
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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