So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
