those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
