I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
