There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize