Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
