Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
