we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
