I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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