I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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