Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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