i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
