Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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