You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
