then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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