sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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