Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize