Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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