is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I just googled if crying burns calories
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
