How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm at about main and main street
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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