Heybabeimwearingurpanties
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Terrible idea I love it
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
