what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
