We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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