last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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