ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Randomize