Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
