I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize