My nipple is on Facebook.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
