We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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