You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
smell my finger.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Is it penis luge time yet?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
