True but thats because hes a fetus.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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