when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
