What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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