he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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