He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
