508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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