you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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