Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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