I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
