I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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