My first STD was from a foam party
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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