OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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