I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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