Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
