I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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