I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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