theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize